Will Of Steel
by Wylde Card
Summary: Short songfic. Yuna's thoughts and emotions after the events of FFX.


Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not the song, not the characters, not the plot, nothing. Not even the printed lyrics – courtesy of 

A/N: Set a little while after FFX, and obviously before FFX-2. I was originally going to use 'Someday' by Nickelback. It doesn't really fit with the idea, but it has the general feel and hearing it always makes me think of Tidus and Yuna. However, my mom got me the Evanescence CD I wanted and the idea just went –pop- in my head.  I took off the first line of the song as it didn't really fit with the context of the song or the idea for the fic. But the rest seems to work fine. And without further me-babble, enjoy!

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Yuna, summoner extraordinaire and hero of Spira had a secret shame. Only the ones closest to her were aware of her dark secret: it was impossible for her to walk up without an alarm. She loved sleep: the warm confinement of the blankets, the odd dreams that take a person away from the harshness of reality, the freshness it gave her skin in the morning. Such was the case with her many times oversleeping without noise to wake her from the joyous comatose state. 

But now, she did not sleep. Neither the blankets nor the softness of the night sky could give her the contentment she seeked for sleep. She had been told many times she had a will of steel. She had willed herself to never forget. But such the will kept her awake, away from the one thing that could serve as a quick high.

***

_I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you_

_But who can decide what they dream?_

_And dream I do..._

_***_

Yuna sat up, glancing at the door. She knew that Wakka and Lulu would be willing to get up at any hour for her. For shared words, or even just comfort. The thought crossed her mind. Lulu would make tea in the kitchen and wouldn't drink it, but scold Yuna for not doing so. And Yuna would – causing Lulu to crack one of those smiles that were very few and far between. Wakka would yawn, stretch, and his head would nearly make contact with the table while he struggled to stay awake. But he wouldn't say anything to make Yuna feel guilty or upset.

They'd just be… Wakka and Lulu. Always ready to make tea or be the loyal guardian or wait until Yuna was ready to talk.

***

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you to live to breathe_

_You're taking over me_

_***_

Yuna had to work at it every day. Having a will of steel… it's what everyone expected. She had been in the eye of the public long enough to know she had to be what everyone expected. Sometimes it was difficult. But she dare not wane.

***

_Have you forgotten all I know?_

_And all we had?_

_You saw me mourning my love for you_

_And touched my hand_

_I knew you loved me then_

_***_

"I miss you."

Yuna didn't know what caused her to say it like she did. Maybe it was the overloading darkness, maybe the desperate silence. Or maybe she just needed to say it for herself. Her words were whispered, but she felt a small twinge in the pit of her stomach. It suddenly occurred to her that she had never said anything of the sort before. She had just… let him be gone.

Hardly a will of steel.

***

_I believe in you_

_I'll give up everything just to find you_

_I have to be with you to live to breathe_

_You're taking over me_

_***_

Escaping the heavy layers of blankets, Yuna tip toed across the cold floor to the other side of the room. Wind was gently pushing against the curtain, causing it to billow inwards and gently caress her face. Drawing it away, she allowed herself to focus on the night sky. It was dark, but she could see a semblance of the twilight dancing in the horizon.

_"No problem! Zanarkand never sleeps! Let's go to the sea, before the sunrise. The city lights go out one by one. The stars fade... then the horizon glows, almost like it's on fire. It's kinda rose-colored, right? First in the sea, then it spreads to the sky, then to the whole city. It gets brighter and brighter, till everything glows. It's really... pretty. I know you'd like it." _

The city that never sleeps.

_I like that,_Yuna thought, unsure of what made her remember that incident. The words were starting to fade in her memory, although she repeated them in her dreams almost every night. The taste of Tidus' lips, she'd remember forever. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"I miss you," she repeated, louder. 

***

_I look in the mirror and see your face_

_If I look deep enough_

_So many things inside that are just like you are taking over_

_***_


End file.
